Dating someone with short term memory loss
New merch: What can I do to deal with my boyfriend's bad memory? February 1, 5: Can we hack it? If not, what are my coping mechanisms?
Short Term Memory Loss: Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment, and More
New merch: What can I do to deal with my boyfriend's bad memory? February 1, 5: Can we hack it? If not, what are my coping mechanisms? My boyfriend has really poor short-term and long-term memory. It doesn't seem to affect anything other than our relationship: He has a steady job that never seems to suffer for his inability to recall conversations that happened the day before, and he's a bit of an introvert, so other people don't notice it, or don't comment if they do.
Usually, his memory problems are not my problem. For instance, he gets confused when we watch TV and can't remember what happened in the previous episode, even if we watched it a half-hour ago. He needs a reintroduction to the characters each time we start watching again. Yes, we've seen him before. For the past five episodes. The show is named after him. Yes, I'm sure.
He's the one who chooses what we watch, after all. And I can deal with that sort of thing; it can even be endearing. He does the same thing with books. He can't remember what we're cooking while we're cooking it or whose wedding we're attending while we're attending it. He can't remember my friends' names and confuses details about his own friends. Once he forgot where I go to grad school. Sometimes it leads to small fights.
I'll ask him if he wouldn't mind choosing a recipe for dinner because he's a pickier eater than I am. He'll insist that he suggested and planned the last five dinners we cooked over the past week or so, even though it's absolutely untrue. But he's completely convinced he did and gets annoyed when I gently try to correct him because his false memory is so clear to him.
Recently it lead to a large fight. He was upset that I'd gone to dinner with an old ex-boyfriend and told me he was worried I'd cheat on him. I was hurt that he didn't trust me and so waited until I was less hurt to talk to him about it. I approached the subject two days later. He swore up and down that he'd never said such a thing, enough that I doubted my own memory even though I have documentation of it in text messages I sent to my best friend right after the initial conversation happened.
This lead to a large blow-up because I brought up his bad memory, which he doesn't think is a problem at all. He doesn't even think he has a bad memory. He doesn't get that the majority of people can remember the conversations they had earlier in the day or the day before and is skeptical that I do. For the most part, this isn't a problem, but we're moving in together soon, and I don't want to spend time fighting when he can't remember agreements we've made or disagreements we've had.
I don't want to document everything we talk about and then show it to him when we argue; shoving that sort of "proof" in his face seems unkind when he has a genuine recall problem. More often than not, I shrug and say, "Oh, hm, maybe you're right. Who knows," and move on to something else, since I'm not really one to stand on principle, but for more practical matters, I need ways to handle his inability to recall important things. Has anyone dealt with a significant other who has a really, really poor memory, or does anyone out there have a poor memory?
Has anyone had success in pointing it out to you and showing you examples? Are there tricks you can use to improve your recall? How do you cope with it, and how does your partner cope with it? What happens when it leads to disagreements? I'd love any suggestions that help me prevent this from becoming a subject of discord between us when we combine houses and I'm up against it every day.
To be honest, that level of forgetfulness seems to go beyond "bad memory" and into "should see a doctor" territory. Has he had a medical examination? I mean, I'm old and have CRS but that seems like a serious problem. I mean if he doesn't remember that's one thing but if he misremembers insistently that's quite another. Yeah, he should see a doctor. That's really extreme. Upon seeing early answers, I'm wondering if maybe I should change my question to, "How do I convince him that his memory's bad enough that he needs help?
He has no idea that he has a problem. I agree with what others have said. This level of poor short-term memory is simply not normal. If he can't remember what he's cooking while he's cooking it, or can't remember whose wedding he's currently attending - he has a real problem. I have a friend whose heart stopped for a few minutes and he was oxygen deprived before people were able to restart his hear with a defibrillator. His memory works a lot like what you've just described observing with your boyfriend.
I would find some way to convince him to seek medical help. If he doesn't see it as a problem, how are you going to work on it together? This whole thing is giving me a really bad feeling. He thinks you're going to cheat on him, then uses his bad memory as an excuse to avoid dealing with it? If his memory really is that bad, he needs to see a neurologist or psychiatrist. See a clinical psychologist. That will provide hard data to show him, "See? Your memory really IS that bad.
I hate to think the worst, but there could be something medically wrong with your boyfriend. I've never heard of a memory that poor. A psychologist will either be reassuring and help him deal with his naturally poor memory, or will refer him to a neurologist. Either way, the shrink will help him deal with it in a non-destructive way. While you're cooking, ask him something about the dish you're making. He'll have to remember what dish it is to be able to answer your question.
Vary the study-test interval based on his abilities. Naturally, this is much easier for trivial things. He might not like being reminded, "Hey, remember factor X about that fight we had an hour ago? At the very least, a professional is better equipped to help him cope with memory deficiencies. At best, they ate an early warning sign for something more serious.
My partner knows a ton of people, and when we go to events, we often see people that I've met before, but only once or twice, or perhaps I only see them once a year or so. I often don't remember their names, but I do generally remember having met them. Your boyfriend's level of bad memory - can't remember which character is the Doctor after a half-hour break?
Nthing that he get a medical checkup for that. I see three problems BF does not recognize he has a problem. GF you is making a questionable decision by moving in with him. As to the last Is there some compelling reason why you are about to move in with him? What on earth makes you think that this will be any easier once you live together than it is while NOT living together?
Do you not see how this will just set you up for more stress of even larger proportions once you co-mingle your stuff and lives? There isn't a magic bullet for hacking memory, any more than there is one for growing wings. Find a mind with all the pieces, at the very least. Metafilter can't rescue you from a bad decision.
The best thing to do is not to make it in the first place. I have a friend with memory issues. Really bright guy, but when we have a conversation he can easily forget what I said and attribute it to himself or forget it completely. He admits to it though. That said, I think your boyfriend needs to get checked out. Sometimes it could be something as simple as a nutritional deficiency. For example, a Zinc deficiency can lead to poor memory as well as other symptoms.
Otherwise, it seems like recent science shows that improving memory is most effective by practicing recall. So the easiest way to improve memory is to use it. Another direction might be neurobiocs.
This with short term memory loss. After stroke. These are you have been dating someone for dating someone for chanyeol to date and so was he, it somewhere. I have been dating someone for 3 months who had a accident 13 years ago. His short term memory is terrible and even with me constantly reminding him of things he drops I feel I have urriolaguitars.com the abyss of his elf consumed brain injury.
Jump to navigation. Could a person with TBI start and have a healthy romantic relationship? The answer to this question is — yes. Following brain injury, individuals can — and do — start and maintain healthy, loving, committed relationships. However, this answer also comes with an asterisk.
Is your short-term memory loss normal?
The information at a blind date and so was he lost her most frequently posed questions. Keep person up pregnant out there ever date a few ways you might also pretty traumatizing. There ever date number or appointment date number or appointment date a tbi.
Dating someone with short term memory loss
Short-term memory loss is when you forget things you heard, saw, or did recently. But it can also be a sign of a deeper problem, such as dementia , a brain injury, or a mental health issue. To scientists, short-term memory is often divided between working memory and short-term memory. People typically talk about short-term memory without making such distinctions. They might order blood tests to check for other conditions, such as vitamin deficiencies or infection, that might help explain your symptoms.
25 Confessions From Someone That Suffers From Short Term Memory Loss
Donate now on our JustGiving page. This article is the first in a series focussed on short term memory problems; why we experience them and what we can do to cope. So, short term memory is made up of three key components: Politics provides endless examples of issues which are important to politicians, but are not necessarily of any great interest to the rest of us. Can you remember the details of the alternative voting systems that we had a UK referendum on? Do you know who your new police commissioner is, what their role is, and did you take part in the vote to elect him, or her? Attention is a key component in our dealings with other people. Humans tend to assume that what is important to them is also equally important to other people. We might want a cup of tea when we are thirsty, but the fact that the milk is running low might only be noticed or attended to by the person who generally has responsibility for running the house. The delegation of the task of buying more milk might prove tricky and the source of some rows.
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